My Mother's Day and Something for the Grandmas'

 Heidi Anne's pre-school teacher did a "Spa Day" on Friday for Mother's Day.  The kids made all the mom's a pretty noddle necklaces, they "fanned us", painted our nails, and drew pictures of us. After we had been pampered we had our pictures taken.It was so cute and the kids were SO excited to host their Spa Day. 

Heidi Anne put on a little impromptu ballet show for me and her best friend (and future husband James who's 5).  While their teacher made everyone a Chocolate Banana Shake. She got Italian Ice since I'm lactose intolerant. I thought it was so sweet that she remembered that about me. One of the other kids decided he wanted an Italian Ice as well. His mom asked him "Okay, but what do we say?"  He looked up at the teacher with the sweetest face and asked "Teacher, can you open this for me?"  --Close enough. 

It's A Little Past Mother's Day...But It's the Thought That Counts - Right? 

Char's folks (Grandma Wegener and PopPop) are out on a mission to the Dominican Republic they are unable to get mail. So Heidi Anne colored a picture for them and for Grandma and Grandpa May (as they live far away as well).Apparently, the note says "I love you lots and miss you. I like seeing you on the computer (his folks Skype on Sundays). Here is a picture of me and my picture I made for you. Happy Mother's Day.

This one (the Butterfly) is for Grandma and Grandpa May:  Momma helped me with this one because I got tired and she needed to be kept busy. But I picked the colors and helped. I love you.

Dear Less-Than-Perfect Mom - From Another Blogger - Still cute

My friend Val shared this post via facebook. It's a special message, that I want myself to read on the day before Mother's Day every year from now on.

Dear Less-Than-Perfect Mom

Posted: 04/30/2013 11:44 am  By Lea Grover

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lea-grover/dear-less-than-perfect-mom_b_3184445.html

Dear Mom,

I've seen you around. I've seen you screaming at your kids in public, I've seen you ignoring them at the playground, I've seen you unshowered and wearing last night's pajama pants at preschool drop-off. I've seen you begging your children, bribing them, threatening them. I've seen you shouting back and forth with your husband, with your mom, with the police officer at the crosswalk.

I've seen you running around with your kids, getting dirty and occasionally swearing audibly when you bang a knee. I've seen you sharing a milkshake with a manic 4-year-old. I've seen you wiping your kids' boogers with your bare palm, and then smearing them on the back of your jeans. I've seen you carry your toddler flopped over the crook of your arm while chasing a runaway ball.

I've also seen you gritting your teeth while your kid screamed at you for making him practice piano, or soccer, or basket weaving or whatever it was. I've seen you close your eyes and breathe slowly after finding a gallon of milk dumped into your trunk. I've seen you crying into the sink while you desperately scrub crayon off your best designer purse. I've seen you pacing in front of the house.

I've seen you at the hospital waiting room. I've seen you at the pharmacy counter. I've seen you looking tired and frightened.

I've seen a lot of you, actually.

I see you every single day.

I don't know if you planned to be a parent or not. If you always knew from your earliest years that you wanted to bring children into the world, to tend to them, or if motherhood was thrust upon you unexpectedly. I don't know if it meets your expectations, or if you spent your first days as a mom terrified that you would never feel what you imagined "motherly love" would feel like for your child. I don't know if you struggled with infertility, or with pregnancy loss, or with a traumatic birth. I don't know if you created your child with your body, or created your family by welcoming your child into it.

But I know a lot about you.

I know that you didn't get everything that you wanted. I know that you got a wealth of things you never knew you wanted until they were there in front of you. I know that you don't believe that you're doing your best, that you think you can do better. I know you are doing better than you think.

I know that when you look at your child, your children, you see yourself. And I know that you don't, that you see a stranger who can't understand why the small details of childhood that were so important to you are a bother to this small person who resembles you.

I know that you want to throw a lamp at your teenager's head sometimes. I know you want to toss your 3-year-old out the window once in a while.

I know that some nights, once it's finally quiet, you curl up in bed and cry. I know that sometimes, you don't, even though you wanted to.

I know that some days are so hard that all you want is for them to end, and then at bedtime your children hug you and kiss you and tell you how much they love you and want to be like you, and you wish the day could last forever.

But it never does. The day always ends, and the next day brings new challenges. Fevers, heartbreak, art projects, new friends, new pets, new fights. And every day you do what you need to do.

You take care of things, because that's your job. You go to work, or you fill up the crock pot, or you climb into the garden, or strap the baby to your back and pull out the vacuum cleaner.

You drop everything you're doing to moderate an argument over whose turn it is to use a specifically colored marker, or to kiss a boo-boo, or to have a conversation about what kind of lipstick Pinocchio's Mommy wears.

I know that you have tickle fights in blanket forts, and that you have the words to at least eight different picture books memorized. I've heard that you dance like a wild woman when it's just you and them. That you have no shame about farting or belching in their presence, that you make up goofy songs about peas and potatoes and cheese.

I know that an hour past bedtime, you drop what you're doing and trim the fingernail that your 3-year-old insists is keeping her up. I know that you stop cleaning dishes because your kids insist you need to join their tea party. I know you fed your kids PB&J for four days straight when you had the flu. I know that you eat leftover crusts over the sink while your kids watch "Super Why."

I know you didn't expect most of this. I know you didn't anticipate loving somebody so intensely, or loathing your post-baby body so much, or being so tired or being the mom you've turned out to be.

You thought you had it figured out. Or you were blind and terrified. You hired the perfect nanny. Or you quit your job and learned to assemble flat-packed baby furniture. You get confused by the conflict of feeling like nothing has changed since you were free and unfettered by children, and looking back on the choices you made as though an impostor was wearing your skin.

You're not a perfect mom. No matter how you try, no matter what you do. You will never be a perfect mom.

And maybe that haunts you. Or maybe you've made peace with it. Or maybe it was never a problem to begin with.

No matter how much you do, there is always more. No matter how little you do, when the day is over, your children are still loved. They still smile at you, believing you have magical powers to fix almost anything. No matter what happened at work, or at school, or in playgroup, you have still done everything in your power to ensure that the next morning will dawn and your children will be as happy, healthy, and wise as could possibly be hoped.

There's an old Yiddish saying: "There is one perfect child in the world, and every mother has it."

Unfortunately, there are no perfect parents. Your kids will grow up determined to be different than you. They will grow up certain that they won't make their kids take piano lessons, or they'll be more lenient, or more strict, or have more kids, or have fewer, or have none at all.

No matter how far from perfect you are, you are better than you think.

Someday your kids will be running around like crazy people at synagogue and concuss themselves on a hand rail, and somebody will still walk up to you and tell you what a beautiful family you have. You'll be at the park and your kids will be covered in mud and jam up to the elbows, smearing your car with sugary cement, and a pregnant lady will stop and smile at you wistfully.

No matter how many doubts you might have, you never need doubt this one thing: You are not perfect.

And that's good. Because really, neither is your child. And that means nobody can care for them the way you can, with the wealth of your understanding and your experience. Nobody knows what your child's squall means, or what their jokes mean, or why they are crying better than you do.

And since no mother is perfect, chances are you are caught in a two billion way tie for Best Mom in the World.

Congratulations, Best Mom in the World. You're not perfect.

You are as good as anybody can get.

With love,

Lea

Autoimmune Adventures: Wait...How Did I Get Here Again??

Do you ever have those moments in life where you could be doing something simple like reading a book, look up and think "How did I get here?" Seriously, sitting at a park bench watching my little Heidi Anne play tag with some little girl and I wondered that question. But went back to reading my text book. 

A little later in the day, I again forgot that I am no longer a working mom. It all started by looking at the calendar and telling Heidi Anne, "Oh, tomorrow is Friday, I bet someone will bring treats to work. I could really go for some homemade cookies." Heidi Anne looked up at me puzzled, "To bad your not at work anymore and that you're not a good cooker. I really miss those GOOD treats."  I thought, "Oh, right no more work. Wait...I think she's right on the whole "bad cooker" thing."

Before I became a stay at home Momma, (I was a working mom, who was going to school, and had a tendency for getting sick).  I never had the time to really bake something, it was rush to work, tend to Heidi Anne, pick up this, run errands, turn in a circle three times and bark like a dog. There just wasn't enough time in the day to think about, let alone actually baking treats. 

 I think that needed to change. Tonight, I started making dinner at 4:00 PM. Just so Heidi Anne could help me make dinner ( the pouring, mixing, measuring, you name it) we did it together. We made quite the mess and made slow progress. But it didn't matter one little bit, I had all the time in the world, I didn't need to rush off to anywhere. 

As the two of us sat down to eat dinner (90 messy, giggling, "sampling" minutes later) she had two servings of her chicken and rice that she made. "I cooked dinner. It was HARD work, so I am going to eat you all gone Mr. Chicken!" Then as the fork got closer to her mouth she started to say in a high voice "Noooo, please don't eat meeee...." CHOMP!" Then she gave me the biggest smile. Next was a bite of rice, "You're sticky rice, you were hard to stir but sooo yummy to eat! Say Hi to Mr. Chicken in my tummy." I busted up laughing at that point. Dinner continued on in that fashion, food begging to be spared. Alas, there were no survivors this day on her plate. 

I just laughed and thought again, How did I get here?  I then realized, I've been thinking about it all wrong. It doesn't matter how I got to this point, nor why I didn't get there sooner or later. The important thing is I'm here now and I will try my hardest to love and enjoy every unexpected second of it. 

Heidi Anne and Her Long "Tangled" Hair

Heidi Anne LOVES her long hair, here are a few shots of her hair down, it's not even 100% straight either. I do her hair in long 2 sided braids lately to help keep her hair out of her face and because she loves her hair being in long braids. Her hair has a perpetual wave look to it.

We cut about half or a whole inch off every 8 weeks or so, but it keeps growing and growing. She says it's long because she drinks lots of water and plays outside a lot. 

"That's how things grow, you give it lots of water and lots of sun." - Heidi Anne

Heidi Anne's First Ballet Performance

Just finished her first performance and got her bouquet

Heidi Anne had her first ballet performance last night. She was so deeply saddened that Daddad had to miss it. 

(Char now works nights from 3:00pm - 12:30 AM, since he will now have class from 10:00 AM - 3:00pm.). Translation - he gets to sleep here a few hours a night and eat breakfeast with us-back to feeling like a single mom. That was a tangent....)

She had rehearsal at 4:00 pm that afternoon. I was worried about her reaction to practicing on a theater stage and not in her dance class studio.

I wanted to give her a rose for her performance - but have you seen the cost of those things?? While she was at rehearsal I went to an abounded house I pass by on our way to her pre-school. She loves the tulips and daffodils in the field. I picked a few of them and made a little bouquet. I kept it a surprise.

She was jumping up and down when I picked her up from practice. She loved how big the stage was. She clapped her hands together and said "Oh, Momma! I can't wait until you see my pretty dance, I am going to have PERFECT pointed tippy toes. You need to feed me a good healthy dinner so my legs don't get tried or cranky. Oh, my hair needs to be in a bun." 

Trying to blow a kiss - NOT Duck Lips....

My Bun-30 minutes later and DONE

Make up, hair, and tiara 

The "healthy dinner" was some sandwiches, an orange, and juice. Now the bun was a bigger issue. Her hair is so long, I kept trying to put it up. I tried different things suggested on Pintrest. Nothing would fully stay put. I ended up doing 2 braids and putting her hair in a knot. I hid all the bobby pins with the black ribbon. It was quite the feat. We decided to have some fun and put on a little make-up. She wanted a picture of her with her ballerina tiara to "Get her into Proper Balance Princess Thoughts."  I believe that translated to getting herself mentally prepared for the show. Who could say no? 

The performance was more like a recital. All the classes got to show what they've learned this year. Everyone from the little kids in pre-ballet to the teachers showing what a Prima Ballerinas can do. 

After two dance classes, the third group began to walk on stage. Well, 1 little girl, with perfectly pointed toes walked from one end of the stage to the other, making sure to stay on the line, not a single misstep was made. The audience noticed, clapped, and cheered the girl. I was high up in the balcony seats, clapping for that little girl and giggling to myself. About half-way across the stage I realized that it was Heidi Anne! Once she got to her spot, she got into First Position, and then waved to the rest of her class to join her on stage. 

She said she told the other girls "Come on guys! Get out here." I think she did a wonderful job. Yes, there were little missteps, stumbles, but no one really fell. It was how you would think 10 little 4-5 year old girls dancing for an audience for their first time would dance. Cute, adorable, and the crowd was in chuckles.

One of the sweetest things I noticed were the little kids backstage waiting to go on stage next. The little girls would watch from behind the curtains as the ballerinas on pointe did their performance. The little girls would mimic the footwork and hands they knew as the pointe girls did their show.  It was touching to see those little girls were just a yard and yet years away from reaching their goal. 

As soon as I found her after the show she ran to me gave me a hug. Then jumping up and down she said "Momma, I LOVED being on stage! I made people laugh and clap. Everyone got to watch my ballet! I loved it soooo much! When am I going on stage again? Can it be....."she trailed off  in mid sentence she finally noticed the flowers I've been holding the whole time. (I thought "SQUIRREL" as soon as it happened). 

She sweetly smiles and says "OH-Look pretty flowers! Who are those for?" I told her, "They are for my pretty Ballerina Princess Heidi Anne." She was so excited, "Now, I'm like a real ballerina, I got flowers."

On the car ride home she kept saying how pretty her bouquet was. Many thanks to the abounded house for the lovely flowers. It was the icing of the cake for my little 4 year old Heidi Anne's first debut on stage as a ballerina. 

We were just told she can start Level 2 ballet. Not even 5 years old and she's ready for level 2 ballet class!  Sadly, we may be out of Logan by then, who knows. If you know of any good ballet schools in Davis / Weber county - let me know. I don't want her talent to go to waste.

Autoimmune Adventures: Have Fun with "Down Days"

Life in general has ups and downs, life with autoimmune disorders has up and down days. Normally, you get invited to a party and you mark the calendar and you're set (you just have to remember it).  With autoimmune issues, you ask 21 questions about the party, mark it on your calendar, hope and pray you don't  get sick and that everyone else stays healthy too.

For today I had made plans with Heidi Anne. We planned on going to Home Depot to do one of their Kid Workshops, come home, make lunch, and have a fun afternoon at the park with a little picnic. FUN!

I woke up at 6:30 am. In PAIN. So slight change in plans. Since I couldn't sleep anymore, everyone got up earlier then planned. Char made breakfast. After the pain meds kicked in I decided if Heidi Anne and I went to the kid workshop earlier then we planned, we would be the crowds and get help from the workers there if we needed it. There was a very nice gal who helped Heidi Anne put her project together. 

We got home and I could tell we weren't going to make it to the park. I got out the paints. We painted the planter holders she had just made at Home Depot along with some other wood projects I had laying around. We did that for nearly 2 hours. 

Since we couldn't do the picnic outside, we did an indoor picnic. Complete with her pop up tent she got for Christmas. I love it, its the pop up tent that looks like an over-sized laundry hamper, folds right up taking no space-she loves it because it has Disney Princesses, I love how I can set it up one handed. Then we ate. 
Next we had quite time, which is any movie she felt like.  Somewhere between "Be Our Guest" we had fallen asleep, I guess that was more of a nap time. 

It just shows, you can still have fun on a Down Day - you just have to be able to make some adjustments.

Me + Heidi Anne + Stress = Need Ice Cream!!

We've been under a bunch of stress lately. Char and I are both in school, staying home with Heidi Anne (which isn't as easy as it sounds), work, looking for part time work, putting our house up for sell, short notice for a house showing. Just a ton of stress and worry.

Well it was a sunny, warm day (a whole 52 F outside) and while I was cleaning I found a Cold Stone gift card. It didn't take me long to come up with a fun plan. We went to get some ice cream and then went to the park. It was a nice break. She got chocolate cake batter fudge ice cream and I got cream-cheese ice cream with peanut butter cup bits. It was a fun distraction. 

We were the only customers there so Heidi Anne and I took our sweet time eating while she reminded me that she had gotten an ice cream cake from there for her 4th birthday and that she wanted the ice cream cupcakes this year for her 5th birthday. I am constantly shocked by her memory. She even found the same cake she had gotten almost 10 months ago. (It was an Oreo Ice Cream Cake). 

What Heidi Anne wants for her Birthday this year

Scholarships, For Sell, and the "Shhhhh" Game

Right now it just feels like everything I thought I knew, I don't any more. What grip I had on the world was only in my head. It's amazing what can happen in just a few weeks. I keep wanting to call my Aunt Deb, my Aunt Sharon , my friend Freda, or just chat with some of my other best friends and sisters but even though I am at "stay at home mom" I've barely been home.

With Char going to nursing school we've been researching and applying for any scholarship, grant, or award we come across. A lot of it is submitting paper work, getting forms, filling out forms, doing essays, getting notaries', calling people to make sure they are doing their side of the forms. All of this before May 3rd. It seems like everything has a deadline of May 3rd.  If you can keep us in your thoughts, prayers, good vibes, or all the above - many heart felt thanks. If you know of any grants, scholarships, awards, magic spells, ect please let us know.

Sadly, we're selling the house. under water on it. We "auditioned" 3 different agents. It translates to having to clean the house toughly 3 different times. We were also hit with the reality that we are way under water on the house. We got it 4 years ago for 140 now it's value is around 115. OUCH!! We'll be lucky to just break even. Did I mention OUCH?

Next have been the house showings. We've had 4 so far in 2 weeks. In fact, I am hiding at the library right now while the house is being shown. From years of watching HGTV I can only imagine how they are going. "Gee, this family has poor taste in style." "Why on earth would you paint a little girl's room THIS shade of pink." "Honestly, you would think she would have vacuumed a tad more before we came." I know it's a little self centered, but I never saw an episode where the potential buyers ever went "Amazing, I have got to get her to come give me tips on how to decorate a house!"  

We typically have 2-4 hours notice. Which means any plans Heidi Anne and I had for the day are out the window. I spend time cleaning up the house and then I try to find a place for us to hide out until we can go back home. So far the park and the library have been our favorite places to hang out. We did have to cancel a house showing on Thursday, because Heidi Anne had a fever of 102.3 with Motrin and was delirious. The poor thing burned her leg by getting tangled in the iron cord, knocked it down, then walked right into it. Burning the whole side of her leg.

Friday she was a little better-which was good because we had another house showing. AGGG!!
We went to the library and then to the park for a picnic lunch. I so lucky that she is willing to just go along with the changes - but it's wearing her down. She's my trooper.

She created a game at the library she calls "The Shhhhh Game" Basically, it's a contest between a child and their parents. Is the child who speaks in a normal tone of voice louder then the mom who "yell / whispers" (her words not mine)? Amazingly, the Moms who go "SHHHHH-Thissss isss a library, if you aren't quite we'll leave!" always seem to win.

The parents get two points if they whisper something to the kid that makes the child start to really cry and scream. My guess is a threat of some sort. - Even though I am here (hiding from another house showing), luckily Heidi Anne is at pre-school right now, I find myself still playing this game. Parents are at 10 points and the kids are at 6 points. I'll have to ask my sister in law, who is a librarian, which they find more annoying, the kids or the "yell/whisper" parents.

Heidi Anne's Version of the Birds and Bees

Heidi Anne has started to tell people I'm pregnant. She wants a little sister more then she wants a puppy. Trust me she wants a puppy more then anything - apart from a baby sister. 
A little discussion on a car ride home after pre-school:

Me: "Heidi Anne, why are you telling people I'm going to have a baby?"

"Oh, because that's how you get a sister." (Now this explanation comes from a little blue eyed, sandy blonde haired girl with pig tails in her booster set in the back of the car). 

Me: "What do you mean that's how you get a sister?"

"Oh, that's easy. You see Momma, babies never come by surprise. Kids or other people say "I've gonna have a baby soon! or I'm having a little brother or sister." Then a Momma goes to the hospital. Then she screams because she wants her baby. Soon a nurse comes in with a baby that screams too, and the nurse says "Yeap, it's a match!" So finally, the mommy gets her baby and they come home."

Me: "Oh, Really." 

 "I talked it out with Zoey (her friend) and if I say you're going to have a baby one will magically come."

Me: "Hmmm, well Momma isn't going to have a baby." 

"Not yet...silly. But soon, it's magic." (Insert matter of fact head nod). 

You can't really argue with a four year old about magic now can you? 

Autoimmune Adventures: Life ~ The Jig Saw Puzzle

Life is like a jig saw puzzle. If you focus on just one or two pieces you'll never know what it is you're really looking at. Once you get more and more of the puzzle together you know more and more whats going on. But even once you finish that puzzle, you won't see the beauty of it if you put your nose to it. You have to step back in order to see the whole thing. That applies to all aspects of life; school, work, love, raising a family, overcoming an illness or autoimmune issues, or just having a goal or a hobby, ect.  

Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny." ~ C.S. Lewis

   I love that quote. It helps me deal with any of the little things that come up in life, it reminds me that hardship or trials in our life make us stronger. Things could be hard now, but tomorrow holds untold possibilities.  You just have to stay looking for the bright side of things. Otherwise you fall into a defeatist mentality - which hurts not only you but those around you who love you and want the best for you.

Facebook Funnies

These were just little comments on my Facebook Page but I wanted to keep them on the blog because I love these little moment of life. After all  isn't that what life is, these fleeting little moments, a cute comment from a child, or random thoughts. 

April 20th
Heidi Anne just giggling away. 
Me: Heidi Anne what is so funny? (Now I am laughing because she is).
Heidi Anne: Nothing. My voice just loves to laugh. So I am laughing. 
When was the last time "your voice just loved to laugh"? 
--The irony of this happening on 4/20 wasn't lost on me.

March 15th 
Where's a camera when you need it?
After 15 minutes of quite in her room I check on her to see she had buttoned herself into a knot in her nightclothes and was trapped on the floor. 
She looks up at me grinning and asking "Hey, Momma - Can I get a little help?"

February 2nd
Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
― Viktor E. Frankl

January 9th
Me trying to set up new passwords at work: "Your password must contain a capital letter, a number, a emoticon, 8 elements from the periodic table, a plot containing a protagonist and some character development with a surprising ending."

Autoimmune Adventures - Weighty Issues

If you have any autoimmune disorder chances are you've been on Prednisone. Prednisone is interesting, it works, but it has some side effects. The one people see or fear the most is the weight gain. The swollen face, being puffy, or your stomach swells up and you look like one of those starving children pictures (tiny arms and legs but a balloon stomach). I've known people who chose not to take the medication solely because of this side effect.

Trust me I have been there. In the last 36 months I have been anywhere from 100 pounds to 230 pounds and everywhere between. Here are some tips I have on how to deal with the “Yo-yo” weight.

1. I keep all my various sized clothes from the XXL to the Medium. Same with the shoes, lots of shoe sizes. I find it helps with those "Nothing FITS!" Fits. All hung up and ready to go.

2. Have some fun with your hair and make up. Find ways to make yourself feel good about yourself. Different hair cuts or styles can make you look better. Even different shades of make up can improve how you feel about your looks.

3. Hide the scale. Chances are you know about what you weigh and seeing the numbers will only make you feel worse.

4. Eat healthy. The weight will come and go but your habits will stay. Trust me, I know the feeling of "Geez, if I'm going to look this way I might as well enjoy what I eat and just go hog wild with the junk food."

5. Stick with the medication. Again the weight will come and go. Prednisone keeps the autoimmune issues at bay. There are far more serious complication that can arise from not taking care of yourself. Yes, the looks and stares aren't fun, but at least your around to see them. Chances are your better able to move, breath, eat, talk, walk, ect. I'll take the weight gain but being able to walk with my little girl over being tiny but bedridden any day.

Story Time with Sue Sue and the Fairy Godmother

Heidi Anne got a special adventure this week. She's been having what I call "Sue Sue Withdrawals . She misses her old schedule, she misses her friends, the crafts, or just her Sue Sue." I think we were both in tears a few days ago when she just broke down and cried "Momma, I am frustrated. I just want my Sue Sue!!"

I felt so sad for her, her little world must seem like it's falling apart. It's weird to explain Heidi Anne's love of Sue Sue, it's like an extra Aunt with bunches of cousins and almost siblings.

 Anyways, she still gets to see some of her friends at pre-school. (She also had her very first play date ever with her friend Zoey on Saturday) Susan and I get to see each other at drop off and pick up. 

Anyways, we were able to meet up for a special story-time at the library. For Heidi Anne it was an EXTREMELY SPECIAL story-time.

 You should have seen her face and she little squeal of "SUE SUE!! MY FRIENDS!!" The icing on the cake was the "Fairy Godmother" from the ballet Cinderella showed up to read to the girls. 

(Cinderella was supposed to be there according to the flier but the girls didn't know it and one pretty ballerina is more then enough).

 They got two stories read to them, they got to do ballet steps, and hold real pointe shoes. She was in high heaven and hated leaving.

So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!

Home Sweet Second Home

 So Sad it had to come to this". -Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.  

As no one really knows, today was my last day at my beloved Conservice.          
I have worked and grown up there for over 6 years. I wasn't even old enough to legally drink when I first started there. Now I have a little girl starting Kindergarten in the fall.

Why would I leave such a wonderful place? I still have that question nagging in the back of my heart. Logically, I've been going to school since January full time (for medical billing and coding, what can I say, I love billing) and working full time. My health has taken quite a hit and I just can't keep up doing both.

I love it there. I love the people I get to work with, the best summer of my life was while working there 2 years ago. I had a great team and this fun intern sat with us. I don't think you're supposed to have that much fun at work-but we did.

Sushi Foodie Date

It's the only place where your birthdays are fun again. Your friends and coworkers deck out your desk. Even the HR department gives you a gift card for ice cream.

My friend Cori's Bday

This is one of a few birthdays I got to celebrate with my friends / coworkers.

Halloween is awesome there. You can get candybars on your payday. The work is hard but it's fun.

So you can imagine I didn't really tell many people because I wasn't trilled about it. I kept thinking "Maybe some miracle will happen. Maybe my health will improve and I would suddenly become Superwomen, able to tackle any and everything". As of right now, no miracle. 

We've gotten to do so many things we'd never get to without Conservice. Heidi Anne got to do ballet, I developed some of my closest friendships with people thanks to my office. Some people sat at a desk next to me or could have been states away, doesn't matter, we're linked forever.

What do you say when you leave a place that has done so much for you, your family. They gave me opportunists I couldn't have even thought possible  Heidi Anne has grown up there. Some of the people there are true miracle workers, I won't say what they've done or how they have truly helped us in our darkest hours,  they don't do it for the glory, they just do because it's the right thing to do.

So while it may seem like I slipped out into the night without much warning, it's because I would have spent all week saying good byes to great friends, fighting back tears, and being bombarded with memories. I know it was the right time to go - but it doesn't mean I enjoy leaving it.

"Don't be dismayed by good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends."-Richard Bach

Crazy Times....

To say the least life has been a "little" hectic the last few weeks. I've started going back to school (for medical billing and coding), Char's parents have left for 18 months on a religious mission, Char is going back to school, and Heidi is just as Heidi Anne as ever.

        Yeah, only a little insane.

Heidi Anne and I just waiting for Char's folks to get on Skype More Webcam fun.

Somehow throughout all of this madness Heidi Anne has managed to still be Heidi Anne. She loves to put on ballet performances for us.

If we're studying she will go get some books to "read" with us. She reminds me of Gus from Cinderella, a huge stack of books overflowing in her arms, with some of them falling down along the way. It's become a common sight to see a trail of books from her room to the office (hence forth known as the study room).

 Studying Anatomy and Physiology with Momma