Monday, August 26, 2013

Starting Kindergarten Perception vs. Reality

If you had told me 5 years ago I would be crying after I dropped my Heidi Anne off to her first day of Kindergarten I would have said something like "Nope, I won't cry - now where did I put that Monster Energy Drink?!?" (Remember this time five years ago I was so sleep deprived and working full time). 
Making a Paper Chain
Getting Supplies Ready 
Really, who can look at that sleeping 5 week old baby and think beyond the next feeding or changing? I tried to do the cute Printrest ideas, like making a paper chain counting down to when school started. With little milestones; registration day, assessments day, back to school night. We made the chain but then life decided I needed a detour to the hospital for a week. 
So Heidi Anne's first day of school hit me a lot harder then I expected. Luckily, she has wonderful Aunts who all stepped up while I was down. She was so excited to learn that one of her Aunts (Sarah) is a Librarian. Heidi Anne loves the library. When we went to "Back to School" night the first thing she asked was "Where is the library?" 
She spent the last few days of summer reviewing her colors, shapes, numbers, basic addition and subtraction, spelling her name, and just being read to. When I would start to think "Did I prepare her enough for the real world? Is she ready for this? Am I ready for this?" She would just pop up and want to "play school" again and again. 
Playing School-Note Pencil in Her Hair
So there I am, in the driver's seat, just 8 days after being released from the hospital. I am dropping my one and only baby girl, Heidi Anne, off to her first day of school, in a beautiful shirt and jeans, her new Hello Kitty backpack with canyons, (all of which were gifts from unknown angels). She is bouncing up and down in her booster seat making up a song about "I love school, I love school, I'm a big girl because I go to school..." We pull up, she gets out of the car, and she tells me with a huge grin "Maybe I will get homework tonight and you can help me with it!" I tell her of course I will help her. She pats my cheek and says "I'm glad you didn't die Momma, I would miss our adventures. And I think school is going to have LOTS of adventures for me. Love You!"
She hops out of the car, runs into school, and I cry the whole way home. I cry because she's going to school, I cry because she's right - school is an adventure, and I cry because my baby had 8 days worrinying about me not being there for her. Then I cry because of all the love and support we've been given these last few weeks. 

Friday, August 23, 2013

First Day of Kindergarden = Cool Pics and a New Tradition

Yesterday, my little baby girl started Kindergarten. I decided to start a tradition of asking her these same questions at the start of every school year, as a way to see her grow up over time. 
What is your name? Heidi Anne Wegener, but my long name is Heidi Anne - Annelise Wegener for sometimes just Heidi because everyone says I look like a Heidi.
How old are you?  I'm five
What is your favorite color? Pink, Purple and Blue
Who are your best friends? James, he's my boyfriend and we're going to get married when we grow up and Zoey. Kayla, Alice, and Rykken are my cousin friends (they are my friends but they are also part of my family) 
What is your favorite animal? Cats, puppies (like Toby) and elephants
What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a teacher mommy when I grow up. That means I want to be a teach AND a mommy at the same time. 
What are your favorite movies or shows to watch? Any Simpsons, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Tangled, Angelina Ballerina. 
What are your favorite books? Nearly all Dr. Seuss, Click Clack Moo (all of them), and Disney Story Book Collections.
What makes you happy? Dancing!! Ballet, Dance Parties, Cuddling Momma and being held by Daddy. 
What makes you sad? If I fall and get hurt or if Momma is in the Hossable (Hospital). 
What is your favorite thing to eat? Pasta, noodles, soup, sandwiches, I LOVE grilled cheese sandwiches, 
What are your favorite songs to sing? The Disney station on Pandora radio, Songs from the Band Parry, Taylor Swift, and Carrie Underwood. 
What games do you like to play? I love playing with my dolls, ball, jump rope, play at the park outside, have Walking Adventures, Flower Adventures, coloring or doing homework when Momma or Daddy are doing homework. 

PS-A Special thanks to any one and everyone who've been our Angels in Disguise the last 3 weeks have brought us many challenges and hardship. 19 days ago Heidi Anne had ONLY 11 items of clothing that even fit her. That was her total amount of clothing! Little clothing, no school supplies, and family taking her in while we were in the hospital.  Again to those of you who've helped or prayed for us. Thank-you!! 

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Medical Personal in the Smog: The Initiation into the Tribe

Late Afternoon of August 12

I had just been informed that I am about to participate in a initiation  into this community, furthermore I was only given minimal amount of forewarning. This procedure is known in layman's terms as a "Bone Marrow Biopsy."I had been fearful of taking part in this practice for nearly 5 days. However, it was clear that I wouldn't be able to return home unless I had this "Bone Marrow Biopsy." 

To help relax me prior to this initiation I was given medication-a craft these Medical Professionals have developed over the centuries. The Medical Professionals decided to perform the ceremony in my room. I was told this is becoming more and more commonplace. They also felt that my room was more sterile and latex free then the traditional location, called the "Operation Room". They let Char know that he didn't have to witness this. He sat by me and held my hand the whole time. He is such a great man, I am glad he choose to be my Guide in this foreign place. 

Slightly relaxed (thanks to their concoction) I laid on my bed, flat on my stomach. My face went between being buried in the pillows to focusing on Char's eyes, back to pillows, back and forth. My hands had a vice-grip on his, not letting go for the life of me. 

Then they rolled in the cart with all the implements neatly organized. First I was injected with some numbing medication. Once I could tolerate more they moved forward. Next they drilled a few holes into the left side of my hip. I yelped in pain. They promised that the pain would soon subside. However, these Medical Professionals know their trade well and went ahead and gave me more of their concoction. 

Once they bore though the bone and into the marrow they plucked some of the fibrous tissue. I could feel it from the incision point down to the middle of my left thigh. I winched in pain a little. I said out-loud "Well, now I know how Twizzlers Pull~n~Peels must feel like when you strip them away from each other." Everyone in the room laughed. The chuckles lightened the mood quite a bit. Next they removed the marrow, again I know how a shake must fill like when you slurp to the last drop. I will never slurp my smoothies every again, it is very uncomfortable for the cup.

I now know how Ikea furniture must feel when it's being drilled and semi-put together. Complete with the messing pieces (as they took away some of my bone and marrow). If these had not been Medical Professionals I wouldn't have been shocked if one of them asked "Now, where did I put that Allen Wrench?"

The Medical Professionals started to mend my scar marking me a member of their tribe forever. We (Char and I both) were very curious as to what exactly had been removed. The Medical Professionals enlightened us and we all conversed about the intricacies of Oncology / Hematology. 

Nonetheless, I was left wondering if these objects were to be scarified in some laboratory ritual after my initiation.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Medical Personal in the Smog: Hints of Humanity and the Outside Word

Heidi Anne with her Aunts
(The Afternoon of August 12)

Day Four of my exile-Day 2 of being in isolation.
I have begun to feel like the natives. They seem to adorn themselves with with different garments and with different colors to establish the hierarchy of this interesting society. Thanks to my translator, Charles, we are able to interpret some of their native tongue, known as "Medical Terminology"
Another behavior that is very helpful is how the chief of the group will fully translate what was being discussed.

The unfortunate thing is how we arrived to this location with only the clothing on our backs. My mom, Grandma Lori, gave some very useful advise to my husband. She instructed him to run home and pack some bags with clothing, toiletries, anything that would be needed.

I have since learned there is a vast difference between how a man packs versus the (much more effective ;D way) a lady packs. Thank-fully my sister, Rebekah, came to my rescue. She brought shampoo, conditioner, lotion, comb, all those little things that are so very important to have and to use in order to regain that "I am a women" confidence.

In addition to humanitarian supplies, she brought Kayla and Rykken to visit with us. Those two are just such sweet kids. They have the cutest smiles, very sincere of the feelings of those around them. They can sit still for amazing spaces of time. They make you laugh, they try to do that same action again. I think those two sweeties could just stop by each hospital room to bring a little bit of innocence to others. We took them no a traditional ride where in the Smog, it's where you sit somewhere on the gurney. Right in the middle of a gurney ride my Oncologist / Hematologist (a doctor who specializes in cancer and blood disorders) came into the room.

Now this particular Medical Personal of the Smog has a very unique attire. He tends to were a tweed 3 piece suite, cool multi-colored polyester ?) ties, and coordinating shirt. To top it off he has metal circular eye glasses, and bushy brown hair. He's a fun blend of Little House on the Prairie and a hint of 1970's movie Fever). He came into the room and told me the news, I would be needed a bone marrow biopsy. Oddly, I was sort of happy that my sister and Char were in the room with me when I was told I should undergo the bone biopsy. Their faces, nodding in understanding or in agreement with the Medical Professional from the Smog gave me that unspoken support I needed. I quickly bounced back from my shy ,downward demeanor and to my normal self.  

The tribe's man began to explain how a bone marrow biopsy is performed, the purpose of a biopsy, how they would give me some anti-anxiety medication, Perhaps pain meds if I needed them. The procedure would be done in my hospital room. OH, and the bone marrow biopsy would begin in 30 minutes. Less time to stress out...Right? WRONG!!

Monday, August 12, 2013

Medical Personal in the Smog : Part 1 Bone Biopsy

It's the 12th of August and day 5 of my exile in the hospital. I have blending in nicely with the locals, they don't fully know why I am here, but they intend to find out. Those medical personal in the smog.

A small tribe had a meeting just beyond my ear shot. After 10 minutes in a huddle formation they came and gathered around me. After greetings were exchanged the leader of the tribe began to translate what they had been discussing. I've just been told I really need to have some x-rays, maybe CT or MRI scans, even more blood work, and a bone biopsy

The bone biopsy really scares me to be completely honest. There is the pain, the being awake while I am drilled, and the high risk of bleeding due to my Von Willenbrents bleeding disorder. 

Now, I am isolated in my hospital room under PPE precautions waiting to be told when the procedure will officially happen. I have no white blood cells, red blood, no immunity whatsoever. A newborn kitten abandoned in the streets has more immunity then I.

(Scene Change-Flashback Waves) 

Sunday, August 4, 2013

I'm Being Watched....

Heidi Anne was playing in her room last night playing with her dolls and kitchen set. After a while she came out of her room with a tray and looking very proud of herself. She asked "Does anyone want to try my treat?"  How can you turn that down? 

Just as I was about to take a pretend bite she said "Wait! I forgot something very important!" She ran into her room and returned with a play cellphone. She said "WAIT! Don't it yet Momma. I HAVE to get a picture of this for Facebook. She made little clicking sounds, looked at the "image" on her phone, and got a few more pictures at different angles. Satisfied with her work she passed me a "bite" of food. 

As we were eating she suddenly said "You know Momma, I bet I should post to pictures to, Pintrest too. 

See, I am being watched!!