Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Baby Shower

My sister in law just had a baby shower, (and no one told me any information about it, like time, date, or place). I was able to view some of the pictures online, and I was glad I didn't go because, just looking at the pictures made me cry.
You see, Heidi Anne is my 4th pregnancy. The other three didn't make it past 10 weeks. So when I made it to 12 weeks we were thrilled, she was going make it! I was told by family they would throw a baby shower for me to celebrate the first grandchild. They chose April, then pushed it back to May, and then June, and then Heidi Anne was born in July. I was told they would throw it after she was born, then pushed again to her blessing day. Nothing came of it. We had hoped that Christmas would be special, the first grandchild, but nothing what all of my friends said would happen. Christmas to me was always about Children and seeing the joy that they have in experiencing it, but Heidi Anne was once again left out while others got all the fun things.
It just hurts that not all life (even in the same family) is celebrated with the same joy. I just feel like Heidi Anne got royally screwed on this.
She is OUR precious baby girl, the only one I will ever have, she was my ONLY pregnancy I will have ever experienced. And I missed out on those basic and silly rites of passage and milestones. And I don't know why. But when another has all those silly and fun things done, its like Heidi Anne isn't a good enough grandchild. Or the grandchild that should have come later, or to the wrong person even. I know this seems petty and just jealous, but it hurts that no one cares about Heidi Anne, Heidi Anne has gone through a hard first year and has to go without. We have wanted to get her so much but cannot afford and it hurt because we know how much is spent on Heidi Anne verses the other grandchild. We are hurt, we feel hurt for Heidi Anne.


  1. Melissa, this is unfair. I was there when you were told where and when the shower was. There was a problem with mailing the invitations, because they didn't add enough postage so I didn't get one and neither did a lot of other people. Kristin mentioned multiple times at the shower that she was upset that you weren't able to make it, and my mom said she called you and told you about it in addition to you hearing about it on Father's day.

    You certainly have the right to your feelings on this matter, but I just wanted to set the record straight on that. I wasn't in town when Heidi was born to arrange a shower, but I was under the impression that my family was responding to your wish to avoid crowds. Certainly my parents could not have done more for you and Charlie when the baby was born, and everyone would have done more if you had allowed it.

  2. Posting something like this online is not acceptable. Even if you feel like this, it is not okay. Even if you do not get along with your inlaws it is not okay to share your feelings in this setting. The best idea would be to pull your in-laws aside and let them know how you feel so you can address it in a healthy way.

  3. You seem really upset with our family and I'm confused. I think that it is interesting that you have a whole post devoted to a shower you did not attend but not even a mention the many of things that my parents do for you like when my parents drove up to Logan at a moments notice to help you move. My parents love the three of you very much and do everything they can to make you happy. I feel like you are being unfair to our whole family. I think that there is probably a different place to talk about this but the only communication you have with us is scathing remarks on your blog. The few times I've seen you in the past little while you won't talk to me and turn away when me or anyone else in my family speaks to you. What is it that you want and expect from us? I have never tried to offend or hurt you and I'm sorry if my actions have not come across correctly. I feel hurt when you say these things on a blog and refuse to talk to me. What is it that you want from posting these sorts of blogs?

    REALY, someone can't express their own hurt or sadness in person because they are shut down. So they express it in other ways, not everything is sunshine and lollipops.
    HELLO no names were associated, until comments were posted...
    IF you always gets SOOOOOOOO upset try really being NICE for once or not post things about NOT posting things, a little hypercritical I think.......

  5. FYI..No one told us or called us. All the info that was given was, some Saturday. Most people work and need advanced notice.
    No other info. No calls, nothing, if you want someone there, you try more then one failed attempt.
    Yes, your FOLKS do nice things, but the point of the post was about how unfair things have been done to HEIDI by others.
    Notice, the term Unfair.

  6. Sorry to hear Heidi gets jipped on Charlies' side of the family. His family has a lame excuses for you not getting a shower invite. I would think if there wasn't "enough postage" then everyone who didn't get one should have received a phone call with all the information, and not rely on word of mouth. Im sorry you never got the baby shower that was promised to you!That really sucks. If I had known his family was going to completely bail on you I would have done it. If they weren't planning on following through they should have let you know so someone else could throw you one. They really screwed you over on that one!

  7. Melissa did you fail to recognise the $5000 dollar check your un fair in laws tell me they sent you?

  8. Melissa, I realize that a trust fund for your baby's education was given for Christmas I know that that isn't all that exciting for a baby but oh well

  9. "Really screwed you over?" Seriously? Nice cover.
    Still sitting here baffled at the belligerence.

    This is not about fair and unfair, this is not about who has the best retort. This could go back and forth forever. You choose to see things differently and find something to be upset about. We are all misunderstanding one another. We are all just getting more angry at each other and hurting more feelings.

    Let's deal with this instead of jabbing back and forth through a blog. If you bash my family unfairly and then say it is in Heidi's defense I don't think I can take it much more! Obviously there are a lot of personal issues, let's deal with them instead of attacking each other. I'm still open to talking. This is obviously getting us no where but more angry. This is just getting ridiculous.

  10. To Anonymous, only when talking about the things at hand. If your so High and Mighty why are you not taking the higher ground? It only makes you as bad as Melissa. Why wouldn't she remove the other things? Unless you were the one writting it. If your upset why are you not talking to them? your as bad as they are.

  11. Hey There, I believe in letting view points be expressed, otherwise all other things said here would be removed.
    However, views & facts not addressing this issue are a non-topic to me, why have tangents?
    Lovely, to be the administer here :)

  12. are we confusing hatred with hurt? What i got from the original post was that she is feeling bad no one cares about her daughter.

  13. The ironic thing i find in this that the original post had no malice in it but it is the readers perspective that makes it seem angery.

  14. Woohooo 20th Post, Yeah ME!
    Anonymous, since it appears you don't have my number, you are not related, thus this matter doesn't affect you personally.
    You are projecting. You obviously haven't been around.
    Please leave my post :)
    There are plenty of other posts that would LOVE your extensive vocabulary. Might I suggest Seriously So Bless, its super funny!
    I'm not the crazy one, at least I stick with family issues, not nosing around :)
    Hope you don't have kids, I'd be worried about them too. Or use WedMD, they have tools to help you :)
    Wish you the best and glad to know my blog is so interesting!
    At least someone reads it.
    Feel free to look at my other posts, we do lots of fun things.

  15. This is great for the GAL to read!!

  16. I have learned anonymous is mean, and unlike me am willing to own up to my comments, leave me the hell alone, seriously if your related and acting this way... then talk to us.


If you cant say anything nice, then dont say anything at all--Bambi