Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Scaring X-Ray Techs (By Accident!!)

The Morning of August 13th
I was sitting on the couch in my hospital room reading a book. Char was at work for the first time since the 8th. He had been beside me from the very start of this hospital experience (which started August 8th at 8:30 AM). He slept on the sofa bed at night and helped care for me during the day. (I know, he's awesome). Anyways, he had to go back to work and I was all alone for the first time. 
As I was reading on the sofa someone came into the room. She looked at the bed, which was neatly made and missing a patient. She starts to talk outloud to herself "AGAIN!! I really, really wish they would tell me that the patient is dead before I come up. I have better things to do then wasting my ...." "Howdy!" I said.  She stopped mid-sentence.
She looked at me on the sofa and said "Oh, sorry I didn't see you there. I am very sorry for your loss." 
I replied "Umm, I AM the patient." 
Her face turned bright red, got me into a wheel chair, and apologized the whole way to the radiology department. Another person took me back to my room after the x-rays were done.

The Afternoon of September 10th
I was back to get even more x-rays. Pretty much from my neck, arms, legs, feet, hands, in a nutshell I was x-rayed from head to toe. (Did I mention the CT scan I had 5 days prior to this round of x-rays?). Anyways, I had to sign something stating that I am aware I have more then exceeded the recommended amount of radiation for one year. 
Since the hospital is a teaching hospital, there was a head tech teaching all the newbies. While I am getting x-rayed one person asked the instructor what was her weirdest as a tech. She proceeds to tell them "About a month ago I got called to go get a patient for a chest x-ray from the Trauma Level 1 ICU. I thought it was just another person on life support or something similar. I go into the room, the bed was empty and had been prepped by housekeeping for the next patient. It was a LONG day, I start venting out-loud to myself. 
Then I heard this weak voice that said "Hi". I thought, "Oh crap, this is a family member of the deceased. I'm in hot water if she complains about me." I apologized for her loss. She looked confused and told me "I'm the patient." I thought again "WHAT are you doing?? Patients do NOT sit up, much less get out of their beds in this unit!" 
Once she finished her side of the story I grinned and said "Howdy!!" She looked at me like a ghost. I then told her students, "Her story is true, I was there. After all, I was the patient." Her group laughs.  

I do have the following ideas IF I have to get more x-rays:

Plan A: IF I'm an inpatient at a hospital and a tech is coming for me I want to do this to my bed:
Option 2: Since I have exceeded my "radiation" limit, I thought I would put some glow in the dark paint on some parts of my hands or something. That way I would "glow" a little. 
If you're going to be sick, might as well have a little fun every now and then. :-)

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If you cant say anything nice, then dont say anything at all--Bambi