A Teething Toddler + A Preemie With Thrush = A "FUN" Week

Anastasia's growth this week: 

Weight: 2680 Grams!! (Was 2356Grams)
Length: 45.75 Centimeters  (Was 45)
Age: 12 weeks old (Should be 40 weeks gestation)







Public Service Announcement
This helps explain why I've been giving Anastasia Sonia Rose's age in two different ways. More often then not this helps to remind me why my 3 month old hasn't cracked a smile or isn't able to control her head. Yes, she is 3 months old, but she should be a newborn. She could catch up or be 3 months behind everything until she's roughly 2 years old. It's also nice to know that other preemie moms face a similar struggles and that I'm not alone. 

Mother's Day Weekend
We celebrated Mother's Day as a family on Saturday since Char will be sleeping / working on Sunday. I've been craving a chicken leg quarter smothered in BBQ sauce actually seared on a charcoal BBQ, complete with those charred sections. Some may call that slightly burnt, I call it tasty. (Bet you want some now....) Char bought a cheap charcoal grill and we had our first BBQ at our house in nearly 3 years! Then it rained. So we had to move everything from the grill to the oven to finish cooking. But at least it had those charred markings I wanted so badly. 

Sunday was a gloomy, rainy day. Not at all spring like or even a hint of sunshine. I remember when Heidi Anne was younger we would go to the park and have the first family picnic of the year on Mother's Day. Maybe we'll start that tradition back up next year, (weather permitting). Today was just a normal Sunday, Char slept and then went to work. I did get 2 out of 3 kids bathed today so success!! I was going to attend church today when the children have been working on a special program but by the time I got the kids ready church had started 20 minutes earlier. I wasn't even ready. Sadly, we skipped it all together.
But I did get the kids ready at least. Getting closer. Give me a few more months and I might have this down. 

Some days I feel like I rock this motherhood thing. Other days I feel like I'm just faking it, and I pray the kids don't catch on to the fact that I have no clue what I'm doing. Right now I'm in survival mode which means I'm not getting much sleep, I have a sick child and basically I'm doing this solo due to Char's work schedule. (Thus, my standards are low).

My three objectives are:
1. Are the kids dressed? ---Yes
2. Are the kids fed? ----------Yes
3. Is the house on fire? -----NO

If the answers above matches then that was a pretty good day. Anything beyond that is a bonus. For example; kitchen clean, bathroom spotless, any vacuuming, laundry. ect. I'm not depressed, I'm just trying to make it through the day / until I can sleep again. Think of it as finials week. You devote yourself entirely to school that everything else falls by the wayside. You're stressed not depressed. That's me right now, only I don't know when finals will end. I'm guessing survival mode will come off in about 6 months (barring any unforeseen situations).  

Monday
I'm sleepy but I like writing, it de-stresses me and helps to put the day into perspective. Most of what I write never makes it to the blog. I write and then erase things. Somehow just the act of writing about whatever the subject or issue is helps me focus on a plan of action.

Right now I'm feeling a little down, (I currently HATE checking the mail because I know there are bills in there). Anastasia has doctor appointments at least 1-2 times a week down in Utah which turn into full day excursions due to the distance. I GROSSLY underestimated her special medical needs. 

I don't know what the right course of action is. Part of me wants to just move back to Utah downsize and get an apartment. Then we would be closer to Chars family (Heaven knows I could use all the extra help I can get), Char's work is there (which he likes more) and ALL of Anastasia's doctors. Char could go full time at his part time job and pay down these medical bills that we're drowning in (plus the student loans as well).

Odd, normally this is where some answer suddenly comes to me. I've got nothing. Just more confusion and inner conflict. Time to phone a friend.

I talked with our landlord, if we can find someone to buy the house or sublease we can move. They're such understanding and kind people. Just pray we find someone soon, I have 3 doctor appointments this week alone! Anyone need a place to rent or knows of someone looking to rent??

Tuesday
It's 4:40 am on Wednesday and I can't sleep. So you get the pleasure of my company. I'll tell you about my day. It was long, stressful, and heart breaking.

It started off at 6:00 am with Heidi Anne having cold like symptoms but she didn't have a fever so it could just as easily be allergies. We packed up the babies for a doctors appointment down in, you guessed it, Ogden.

One of the saddest things we did was take a stray cat that adopted us to the animal shelter. NOT the one here in Wyoming but down in Ogden. It was a miserable car ride, the poor thing knew something was up and had the most pitiful meow. But we can't take the kitty with us when we move and we don't know how the new people with react to a stray. It was a hefty price but it's a no kill shelter and we promised Heidi Anne we wouldn't let Sweetie the cat be put to sleep. It was a bit heart breaking because we've all become attached to the kitty.

We then went apartment browsing. We went to 7 places with a toddler and a baby with special needs. I wouldn't recommend ever doing that. It was weird how people would stare at the O2 tank poking out of the hiking backpack or when they asked if they could see the baby we responded with a firm NO. Eventually, one of us would stay in the car with the babies while the other went to talk to the people inside. It just made life easier.

Soon it was time for Anastasia's doctor appointment. Since she doesn't have much of an immune system we were taken back to a clean room right away (no waiting room for us)  Both babies where super hungry, tired, and cranky by then. We changed them and feed them bottles while we waited for the doctor. We got her weight (5 pounds and 15 ounces) and her length (18 inches on the dot). Unfourtantly, she is suffering from thrush, which is a yeast infection in your mouth, cheecks, throat. Which is as painful as strep throat.  


The Rest of the Week
We've been deep cleaning, packing and taking care of a teething toddler, a medically fragile preemie with thrush, and a sick 7 year old. This has been a hard week!!

Anastasia can only drink 40 mls at a time before she quits from the pain. Then she's hungry roughly 70 minutes later. I've been living off 30 minute naps. While trying to care for the other two and keep up the house. I pray this doesn't last long or ends before I crash. Why am I writing when I should be sleeping? This is a bit therapeutic, I guess.

I took Anastasia to the eye doctor on Thursday morning. She still has ROP but he couldn't find the Plus Disease, he was very perplexed. He can't believe it, thus we have another appointment on Tuesday morning. This super early morning appointments are killer.

Anastasia is in so much pain, she won't eat much, and it's causing me concern. I tried to get her a doctor appointment but the only one open was in 30 minutes. No way we could make that. I just dealt with 2 very cranky babies and didn't get much done today. I need to clean!
Better go while, by some miracle, are both asleep.