NICU Journey Week 1

I'm writing these as the days go by, hence the present tense. I'll also track her growth, since that's the fun part: 
Weight: 950 Grams (Was 1040 Grams)
Length: 14 inches    (Was 13.3 inches)
Age: 1 week old  (Should be 28 weeks gestation)
If you have any specific questions about Anastasia or her medical care feel free to ask me, I'm more then happy to share. 

Friday:
At midnight the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) director doctor came in to give us an update on Anastasia. She was intubated on a oscillating ventilator. She had several IVs, and been given medication to make her comfortable. 

Then at 1:00 am they wheeled me (gurney and all) into the NICU to meet my daughter. Somehow they lined up my gurney to her incubator so I could see her. She was tiny, perfect but so tiny. They let me touch her little hand, which couldn't fit around my whole finger. Now I have small hands but it just goes to show how little she is. We spent 20 minutes together like this. I was telling her how much I love her, how pretty she is, to keep being a fiesty little girl. I just told her everything a new mother tells to her newborn baby, regardless of the baby's birth age. Finally we both had to go rest, but I could have spent forever like that. 

I spent the rest of Friday in bed recovering. Since I was unable to visit Char went to the NICU every few hours and made little videos for me and took pictures throughout the day. He and a nurse made a great movie explaining every single monitor, IV tubes, her medications, all the lines, her intubation, feeding tube, even how the special incubator works. It won't upload for some reason but it made me feel really involved. 

Saturday:
Today Anastasia was placed under the bilirubin lights since her bilirubin increased. Today I made the walk all the way down to the NICU to visit with Anastasia myself, twice! I was there for her "cares". Cares is the time they set aside to feed, change, weigh, do labs, or other nurse needs all at once. This way the babies can spend their time getting nice deep, uninterrupted sleep.

Sunday:
I got discharged from the hospital today. Leaving the hospital without the tiniest new addition to the family was nearly unbearable. It was one of the hardest most heart wrenching things I've ever done. I must say this is the saddest Valentine's Day our family will ever have. 

Monday:
Anastasia isn't under the belli lights now, the nurses warn me that she could go back under them again. Apparently it's fairly common for very premature babies to go off and on the belli lights. Fingers crossed but we'll see. 

I did post this on Facebook but I'll post this little PSA again:
To all those that keep asking for a time frame when Anastasia will come home... there is no saying when she will hit the mile stones that are required. These are the high points that need to be hit before we can bring her home according to the NICU (in no particular order):
1. She needs to be able to do basic body functioning, this is keeping warm, no apnea and bradycardia episodes, poop on her own, can sleep regularly without assistance.
2. Take most of her feedings by mouth.
3. Able to breathe well without extreme oxygen needs. 
All this being said the expectation is that she will be in there until at least the beginning of May, give or take 2 weeks.

Tuesday:
Today they changed Anastasia's oscillating ventilator to a traditional one. This means she'll have to work at breathing on her own more than she has been. It's an experiment to see if she can get off the oscillating vent and maybe even be ventilator free soon. 

Wednesday
As of this morning Anastasia is off the ventilators! They are testing to see if she can keep up breathing on her own. She may go back on one if she runs out of stamina but for now she's just on an oxygen tubes via nasal canulla that are humidified to prevent her little respiratory system from drying out. She's also back under the beli lights. The nurses told us this would be an on again, off again thing. 

Thursday:
Last night at 3:11 am I had a nasty nightmare about Anastasia. I called the NICU and the nurse kindly told me everything was okay. Thank heavens for NICU nurses. I wonder if they get lots of worried mommy calls in the wee hours of the night? 

Today we made the trek to go visit Anastasia. It was the first time I've seen her in 4 days. She was beli light free today! For nearly 4 hours we just sat by her, talked to her, touched and held her tiny hand. I would try to put the bean bag in a comforting position and keep it in place. Easier said then done, that girl is a wiggle worm.  I think I'll start bringing a book to read to her, that way she can get used to my voice. 

I know it was though a bean bag but to feel her kicks it was like she was back in my tummy. The movements you take for granted when the baby is in you where so special to me. It's as close as we can get for now so I'll take it. The nurse let me pick out a new bow for her hair, I choose a blue and white gingham one because it reminded me of Dorothy from Wizard of Oz (the fact that blue is my favorite color had nothing to do with it :) 
We had to leave sooner then I wanted but we needed to get moving due to a snow storm    (also Heidi Anne likes it when someone greets her from school).
I'm not gonna lie, it's hard to balance the needs of you child in a NICU and the needs of the kiddos at home.