We've Moved!

So we finally moved (about 2 weeks ago). 

Heidi Anne LOVED to be in the Moving Truck with Dadda!

We got some help packing up the truck, neighbors, friends, one our of friends, Lela, has been our friend when we first got married. That's 7 years! She came up to Cache Valley around 8:30 in the MORNING from Salt Lake City (2 hours away) to help us pack and keep me from making myself sick. Then went to go get her little girl's birthday party ready. 

Begging to ride with Dadda

There is just something so amazing about military wives. In fact three of my closest friends are military wives. Anyways, back to the moving.

So Happy to be in the Truck!

 Down in Weber County we were greeted with more help. Here is the apartment before everything got unloaded. (Once things are nicely organized again - I'll do some picture updates). One of Char's friends came to help, as well as 2 of his sisters, and a cousin.

Living Room

Kitchen / Eating / Laundry / Pantry (I'm That Good!) 

The Bathroom (With a Heidi Anne "Power Walk) 

The "Big Room"

Heidi Anne's Room (Clean)  

One of Char's friends came to help, as well as 2 of his sisters, and a cousin. One real funny story was when Char was unloading a bookcase from the moving truck he missed the ramp just a tiny bit. As he feel (banged his knee) the corner of the bookshelf hit the ground and just EXPLODED into little pieces. 

Heidi Anne's Bunk Bed!

Char's sisters and cousin helped a TON. They put Heidi Anne's Bunk Bed together as well as our bed. That was a sleep saver! They also helped unpack and unload. But the beds getting put together was wonderful. We actually got to sleep in our own beds after the long hard day (and preparing for another long day).  

Nothing Can Destroy the US Air Force!!

I've been looking into the government shut down, all I would find was name calling and finger pointing. I somehow came across this letter to from the commander (named below). Here is his entire address to the USAF.  TINKER AIR FORCE BASE, Okla. -- First and foremost, I want everyone to know how much I appreciate the way you have handled the chaos during the last few months. The budget crisis in Washington turned very personal for each and every AFSC member with furloughs, the shutdown, pay issues, and impacts to operations. I know the turmoil has caused difficulties at home and at work. But through it all, you have demonstrated the highest level of professionalism! While the debates continue in DC, we are moving forward with the understanding that the President and Congress want to minimize the impact to the Department of Defense and to the dedicated men and women who serve our Nation, both civil servants and those in uniform. During the weekend many of your teammates worked to correct the coding problems that led to the pay issues. We fully expect these issues will be rectified for the next pay period. Air Force flying operations are ramping up to full strength, and within AFSC, we are responding because of our critical role in "Generating Airpower" and maintaining readiness. So even with the continuing uncertainty in Washington, AFSC is setting its sites on regaining our edge. We are going to take control of what we can and manage expectations for what we can't control. We need to maintain our high standards of safety, quality, and delivery while supporting fellow Wingmen. We are resilient Airmen with much to be proud. As a team we will drive through this difficult situation on the path to achieving "Art of the Possible" results. We have the "AFSC Way" as the touchstone for executing our mission and use it as a way to deliver the capabilities our warfighters need. Our mission and purpose for coming to work is just as important today as it has always been. Let's set the example for all to follow as we generate airpower for our Nation and support those who may need a helping hand. Keep 'em flying...it's what we do! BRUCE A. LITCHFIELD Lieutenant General, USAF Commander, AFSC

Bubble Girl!

Nearly everyone has some sort of fungi in their lungs, however, your body has neutrophils (this will be important in a few minutes) in your whole body. The ones in your lungs keep the fungi at bay, so you’re fine. 

However, if you have very compromised immune systems, for example HIV or suffer from Neutropenia or other cytotoxic disorders, your body can’t fight it. Since the fungi lives deep in the lungs it goes from the bottom – up (normally the infection has to travel down). In a nut shell once you get it, the mortality rate is 90%.  

Bright-side, people won’t get sick from me, however, I could get sick from others.So far I am in the lucky 10%!!

The doctors had been watching me closely, so when I showed the signs I was given some treatments. They had this big costly sounding name for it.  You are put in this plastic bubble tent, while the nurses where semi-hazmat gear. . I called it “Fumigation for bubble girl”-which made all the nurses laugh and say “never thought of it that way.” For nearly an hour, they fill the bubble with a concoction (like a nebulizer but not) anyways it’s nasty tasting air (bet you didn’t know air could TASTE bad).

Lego Nurse - Close Enough ;D So you are enclosed in a bubble with a nurse who is wearing semi-hazmat gear who is taking notes for nearly an hour. I made it fun, I turned on either Jeopardy or some similar game show and competed against the nurse. I told him “I bet you've never been paid to play trivia games before!” He responded “Nope, but I've paid to take examines, quizzes, and pop tests.” 

Ring Master-ish

Do you ever have those times in your life when you feel like the ring master in a three ring circus?
These last few weeks have been like that. There are just so many things happening simultaneously you're pretty sure you've dropped something?

So here is a snapshot of some of the happenings (not in chronological order whatsoever):

- Slowly recovering from my hospital adventure.
-LOTS of Doctor appointments and diagnostic testing.
-My best friend had an accidental home-birth experience. You've GOT to read her story!! I am shocked the news in Killeen didn't report on it http://illguthlife.blogspot.com/2013/09/veronicas-drama-filled-birth-story.html
- I kept getting Fungal Pneumonia and treatment for it (That's it's own post alone).
-Heidi Anne got to go to her cousins fun birthday party!
-Heidi Anne started Kindergarten and misses it terribly! We're have a few issues with the new school. (Wow, another post).
-We moved to Washington Terrace (Again, post to come)
-A deer hit Char's Car
-Char got an A on his Anatomy and Physiology (While helping me deal with all of the above). 
-Starting November Char beings his Nursing Clinicals!
-I'm trying to start my own Etsy store to help with bills (and because I LOVE sewing when possible!) 
-We have some GREAT friends and family.

Sooo, I now have an (almost) endless list of things to write about. 

Scaring X-Ray Techs (By Accident!!)

The Morning of August 13th
I was sitting on the couch in my hospital room reading a book. Char was at work for the first time since the 8th. He had been beside me from the very start of this hospital experience (which started August 8th at 8:30 AM). He slept on the sofa bed at night and helped care for me during the day. (I know, he's awesome). Anyways, he had to go back to work and I was all alone for the first time. 
As I was reading on the sofa someone came into the room. She looked at the bed, which was neatly made and missing a patient. She starts to talk outloud to herself "AGAIN!! I really, really wish they would tell me that the patient is dead before I come up. I have better things to do then wasting my ...." "Howdy!" I said.  She stopped mid-sentence.
She looked at me on the sofa and said "Oh, sorry I didn't see you there. I am very sorry for your loss." 
I replied "Umm, I AM the patient." 
Her face turned bright red, got me into a wheel chair, and apologized the whole way to the radiology department. Another person took me back to my room after the x-rays were done.

The Afternoon of September 10th
I was back to get even more x-rays. Pretty much from my neck, arms, legs, feet, hands, in a nutshell I was x-rayed from head to toe. (Did I mention the CT scan I had 5 days prior to this round of x-rays?). Anyways, I had to sign something stating that I am aware I have more then exceeded the recommended amount of radiation for one year. 
Since the hospital is a teaching hospital, there was a head tech teaching all the newbies. While I am getting x-rayed one person asked the instructor what was her weirdest as a tech. She proceeds to tell them "About a month ago I got called to go get a patient for a chest x-ray from the Trauma Level 1 ICU. I thought it was just another person on life support or something similar. I go into the room, the bed was empty and had been prepped by housekeeping for the next patient. It was a LONG day, I start venting out-loud to myself. 
Then I heard this weak voice that said "Hi". I thought, "Oh crap, this is a family member of the deceased. I'm in hot water if she complains about me." I apologized for her loss. She looked confused and told me "I'm the patient." I thought again "WHAT are you doing?? Patients do NOT sit up, much less get out of their beds in this unit!" 
Once she finished her side of the story I grinned and said "Howdy!!" She looked at me like a ghost. I then told her students, "Her story is true, I was there. After all, I was the patient." Her group laughs.  

I do have the following ideas IF I have to get more x-rays:

Plan A: IF I'm an inpatient at a hospital and a tech is coming for me I want to do this to my bed:

Option 2: Since I have exceeded my "radiation" limit, I thought I would put some glow in the dark paint on some parts of my hands or something. That way I would "glow" a little. 

If you're going to be sick, might as well have a little fun every now and then. :-)

Be Brave Heidi, Be Brave

• While I was in the hospital ALL 4 of Charles' sisters stepped up and took Heidi Anne into their care for those 8 scary days. These little tales show what an amazing, adventurous girl Heidi Anne has become. I am in awe that my little barely 5 year old girl handled this tumultuous time so well. She is a little afraid that Momma's doctor appointments may turn into a hospital visit. So she packs a little bag for herself, just in case. (You'll have to read "Well That Escalated Quickly" to understand why.)
• P.S. - I don't like using peoples' names or pictures without permission. So nothing secret about his sisters or any other vaguely identified person just think of it as the HIPPA of the internet age. If you happen to see your name or picture ANYWHERE on the blog let me know and I WILL correct it.
• Be Brave Heidi, Be Brave: One of Charles sisters had this story about Heidi Anne. It has since become our family mantra - Be Brave (fill in name), Be Brave. 
• "One day I took Heidi Anne swimming, she thought it was just going to be a little pool, however, it was our neighbors' full size pool with a water slide. At first the depth of the pool frightened her. But slowly she became more comfortable and realized she could touch the bottom of the pool." We had fun teaching her how to kick and swim."
• (Did I mention Heidi Anne doesn't know how to swim and she flat out refused to use the life jacket? Heidi Anne was in the BEST of care and closely watched. Sometimes you just have to sink or swim. So kudos to the sister willing to take on this particular adventure!!)
• "Heidi Anne climbed up the ladder, got to the slide, got scared and came back down. Each time I reassured her she didn't have to go down if she didn't want to.  I told her how I would have been to scared to go down the slide. Despite all the reassurance, Heidi Anne insisted that she wanted to go down the slide." (Again, Kudos to the sister that let Heidi Anne be Heidi Anne!!) 
• On the third time up the ladder she started saying to herself " 'Heidi be brave, be brave...' and then she went down into the pool.  In the words of his sister "Wow! That girl has guts!"

Park Adventures Summer 2013

Heidi Anne loves to be outside, doing anything and everything. We don't have much of a yard (it's like 10 feet by 10 feet). Luckily for us, there are lots of parks around here. I take her to a park nearly every day. I like to do a park rotation, that way she doesn't get board of going to the same park over and over. It's fun because she never really knows which park we'll go to. We do have a few favorites though.

Heidi Anne and James playing in the "Yard" 

The Splash Pads
I'm not sure how, but this little valley has 2 splash pad parks. They may not be big but they do the job.There is only one public pool here and it gets crowed very quickly. I love the splash pads because I can stay in the shade nice and dry while she gets as wet as she wants. Plus they're free - can't beat that price. ;D

Heidi And Gabby at North Logan

Snacking at the North Logan Pad

Providence Splash Pad - Heidi Anne's Party 

URBAN TRAILS!!

There are many "Urban Trails" here in the valley. There is the Logan River Walk trail with little fun facts about the solar system. There is a Riverwoods trail as well. A few other ones sprinkled all around the valley. They are great for adventures! Bonus, these "trails" are Me approved. 

Logan River Walk Trail

Parks!!

There are sooo many parks here in Logan. I tried at least once or twice a week to take her to a park or field to get those wiggles out. She loves her Park Day Adventures. Here are just some pictures from those fun parks. I liked to mix it up so she wouldn't get board. I would let her run wild while I hid in the shade. I call it "Free Range Parenting". These are just a few pictures from all of those fun times. 

Out In the Wild!

Logan is right by Logan Canyon. Surprise!! Anyways, there are lots of easy (and VERY VERY HARD) trails that you can explore. We stick with First Dam and feed the ducks or the Stokes Nature Center with all their fun hands on activities they have. And the trails are me approved as well. Heidi Anne loves being about to run and explore ahead of me, and I love the fact the cell reception is great and a ranger is nearby. 

Camping!!

YES-Camping. First time ever. More info to come but Heidi Anne had a blast to say the least. The camping trip has been over shadowed by the fact that I shouldn't have even gone to start with and ended up in the ICU the day after we got home. So it was fun - just bad timing. 

Playing Blocks with the Firewood

Chillin' In the Tent

Camping! How She LOVED Camping!!

Return to the Medical Professionals - Biopsy Results Show!!

Finally, the day had come. I was to return to the Medical Professionals in the Smog to get the results of my bone marrow and bone marrow aspiration biopsy results. (I jokingly called it "The Biopsy Results Show")

In theory the appointment was very simple:

- BIG RULE 1 - NO CHILDREN Under the age of 14 (I kept waiting for a nurse, Intern, registration personal to ask for my ID. There are little signs of "Please leave any child under the age of 14 at home. I am pretty sure there is fine print of "We reserve the right to ID card any patient or person at anytime."

Since Heidi Anne is still 9 years away from being 14 Char's sister Em was going to watch her for the 90 minute doctor appointment. 

-11:50 Aunt Em watches Heidi Anne for the "90 Minute" doctor appointment.  

-12:10 We get to the Huntsman Cancer Institute (which has free valet parking so patients and caregivers aren't split up when one is parking the care while the other checks in.) There are musical instruments to play, puzzles to work on, books to read, crafts to work on, and just beautiful details all around. You walk in and you know there is Hope. You feel this WHOOOSH Good Vibes. Well Played Huntsman Senior! 

-12:11-12:35 Register, blood work done, and they gave me a heavy duty respirator because I had a cough to match it. We wait, we watch people go in and out of the infusion rooms (where you get chemo treatment). Nervous-Do I want it to be Leukemia, because I will finally know 100% what this is and how to treat it. Then the other side is Cancer---YIKES!!.  

1:10 PM- Results, I DO NOT HAVE the following (remember, they are leaving no stone un turned).

I DO NOT Have HIV/AIDS (which was a serious concern due to all the blood transfusions), I do NOT have Myelodysplastic Syndrome ( you wouldn't need a Magic 8 ball to know what that would mean). The only way to verify this was with a biopsy. 

2:20-3:15-The "I Dos" began. I DO have Prednisone Induced Diabetes, Acquired Pancytopenia (not genetic), a yet to be named anemia, and the SCARES ME - The Fungal pneumonia. Yes, fungal pneumonia. When that result came back they redid the labs to verify that I am free of HIV / AIDS. Turns out, this thing only happens to severely immunodeficient  people. If you want to Google it, feel free. 

What this means to me, is my body will reject any anti rejection medication or anything that can influence my DNA. This severely handicaps my treatment of my autoimmune disorder. BUT there are more discoveries coming every day. And soon we'll know what has been making me sick. 

3:15-3:20--Field trip!! I got to go to get an x-ray. Then I tried to come back but was sent to a room where they zipped me up in a plastic bubble. Then I was giving a 50 minute treatment. In a bubble. I was making jokes about how "I do not Like the Cone of Shame! ~~ Squirrel!! Just making making people laugh. Little thoughts like "Why can't they give me dry erase markers so the nurses and I could play tic-tac-toe. Oh, keep in mind the nurses were in full haz mat (for the out there, the jump suites and gear the dude from Breaking Bad use). 

3:20-Closing Time More fumigation. I also got a follow up appointment for later this month. Please keep us in your prayers. This form of pneumonia is very hard to treatment.

Oh PS- Today was My 7th year anniversary of being married to Charles. He spent the day nursing me back to health. I love that Man. And Heidi Anne got her Jodi-Adventure. It's a good day. 

Starting Kindergarten Perception vs. Reality

If you had told me 5 years ago I would be crying after I dropped my Heidi Anne off to her first day of Kindergarten I would have said something like "Nope, I won't cry - now where did I put that Monster Energy Drink?!?" (Remember this time five years ago I was so sleep deprived and working full time). 

Making a Paper Chain

Getting Supplies Ready 

Really, who can look at that sleeping 5 week old baby and think beyond the next feeding or changing? I tried to do the cute Printrest ideas, like making a paper chain counting down to when school started. With little milestones; registration day, assessments day, back to school night. We made the chain but then life decided I needed a detour to the hospital for a week. 
So Heidi Anne's first day of school hit me a lot harder then I expected. Luckily, she has wonderful Aunts who all stepped up while I was down. She was so excited to learn that one of her Aunts (Sarah) is a Librarian. Heidi Anne loves the library. When we went to "Back to School" night the first thing she asked was "Where is the library?" 
She spent the last few days of summer reviewing her colors, shapes, numbers, basic addition and subtraction, spelling her name, and just being read to. When I would start to think "Did I prepare her enough for the real world? Is she ready for this? Am I ready for this?" She would just pop up and want to "play school" again and again. 

Playing School-Note Pencil in Her Hair

So there I am, in the driver's seat, just 8 days after being released from the hospital. I am dropping my one and only baby girl, Heidi Anne, off to her first day of school, in a beautiful shirt and jeans, her new Hello Kitty backpack with canyons, (all of which were gifts from unknown angels). She is bouncing up and down in her booster seat making up a song about "I love school, I love school, I'm a big girl because I go to school..." We pull up, she gets out of the car, and she tells me with a huge grin "Maybe I will get homework tonight and you can help me with it!" I tell her of course I will help her. She pats my cheek and says "I'm glad you didn't die Momma, I would miss our adventures. And I think school is going to have LOTS of adventures for me. Love You!"

She hops out of the car, runs into school, and I cry the whole way home. I cry because she's going to school, I cry because she's right - school is an adventure, and I cry because my baby had 8 days worrinying about me not being there for her. Then I cry because of all the love and support we've been given these last few weeks. 

First Day of Kindergarden = Cool Pics and a New Tradition

Yesterday, my little baby girl started Kindergarten. I decided to start a tradition of asking her these same questions at the start of every school year, as a way to see her grow up over time. 

What is your name? Heidi Anne Wegener, but my long name is Heidi Anne - Annelise Wegener for sometimes just Heidi because everyone says I look like a Heidi.
How old are you?  I'm five
What is your favorite color? Pink, Purple and Blue

Who are your best friends? James, he's my boyfriend and we're going to get married when we grow up and Zoey. Kayla, Alice, and Rykken are my cousin friends (they are my friends but they are also part of my family) 
What is your favorite animal? Cats, puppies (like Toby) and elephants
What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a teacher mommy when I grow up. That means I want to be a teach AND a mommy at the same time. 

What are your favorite movies or shows to watch? Any Simpsons, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Tangled, Angelina Ballerina. 
What are your favorite books? Nearly all Dr. Seuss, Click Clack Moo (all of them), and Disney Story Book Collections.
What makes you happy? Dancing!! Ballet, Dance Parties, Cuddling Momma and being held by Daddy. 
What makes you sad? If I fall and get hurt or if Momma is in the Hossable (Hospital). 

What is your favorite thing to eat? Pasta, noodles, soup, sandwiches, I LOVE grilled cheese sandwiches, 
What are your favorite songs to sing? The Disney station on Pandora radio, Songs from the Band Parry, Taylor Swift, and Carrie Underwood. 
What games do you like to play? I love playing with my dolls, ball, jump rope, play at the park outside, have Walking Adventures, Flower Adventures, coloring or doing homework when Momma or Daddy are doing homework. 

PS-A Special thanks to any one and everyone who've been our Angels in Disguise the last 3 weeks have brought us many challenges and hardship. 19 days ago Heidi Anne had ONLY 11 items of clothing that even fit her. That was her total amount of clothing! Little clothing, no school supplies, and family taking her in while we were in the hospital.  Again to those of you who've helped or prayed for us. Thank-you!! 

Medical Personal in the Smog: The Initiation into the Tribe

Late Afternoon of August 12

I had just been informed that I am about to participate in a initiation  into this community, furthermore I was only given minimal amount of forewarning. This procedure is known in layman's terms as a "Bone Marrow Biopsy."I had been fearful of taking part in this practice for nearly 5 days. However, it was clear that I wouldn't be able to return home unless I had this "Bone Marrow Biopsy." 

To help relax me prior to this initiation I was given medication-a craft these Medical Professionals have developed over the centuries. The Medical Professionals decided to perform the ceremony in my room. I was told this is becoming more and more commonplace. They also felt that my room was more sterile and latex free then the traditional location, called the "Operation Room". They let Char know that he didn't have to witness this. He sat by me and held my hand the whole time. He is such a great man, I am glad he choose to be my Guide in this foreign place. 

Slightly relaxed (thanks to their concoction) I laid on my bed, flat on my stomach. My face went between being buried in the pillows to focusing on Char's eyes, back to pillows, back and forth. My hands had a vice-grip on his, not letting go for the life of me. 

Then they rolled in the cart with all the implements neatly organized. First I was injected with some numbing medication. Once I could tolerate more they moved forward. Next they drilled a few holes into the left side of my hip. I yelped in pain. They promised that the pain would soon subside. However, these Medical Professionals know their trade well and went ahead and gave me more of their concoction. 

Once they bore though the bone and into the marrow they plucked some of the fibrous tissue. I could feel it from the incision point down to the middle of my left thigh. I winched in pain a little. I said out-loud "Well, now I know how Twizzlers Pull~n~Peels must feel like when you strip them away from each other." Everyone in the room laughed. The chuckles lightened the mood quite a bit. Next they removed the marrow, again I know how a shake must fill like when you slurp to the last drop. I will never slurp my smoothies every again, it is very uncomfortable for the cup.

I now know how Ikea furniture must feel when it's being drilled and semi-put together. Complete with the messing pieces (as they took away some of my bone and marrow). If these had not been Medical Professionals I wouldn't have been shocked if one of them asked "Now, where did I put that Allen Wrench?"

The Medical Professionals started to mend my scar marking me a member of their tribe forever. We (Char and I both) were very curious as to what exactly had been removed. The Medical Professionals enlightened us and we all conversed about the intricacies of Oncology / Hematology. 

Nonetheless, I was left wondering if these objects were to be scarified in some laboratory ritual after my initiation.

Medical Personal in the Smog: Hints of Humanity and the Outside Word

Heidi Anne with her Aunts

(The Afternoon of August 12)

Day Four of my exile-Day 2 of being in isolation.
I have begun to feel like the natives. They seem to adorn themselves with with different garments and with different colors to establish the hierarchy of this interesting society. Thanks to my translator, Charles, we are able to interpret some of their native tongue, known as "Medical Terminology"
Another behavior that is very helpful is how the chief of the group will fully translate what was being discussed.

The unfortunate thing is how we arrived to this location with only the clothing on our backs. My mom, Grandma Lori, gave some very useful advise to my husband. She instructed him to run home and pack some bags with clothing, toiletries, anything that would be needed.

I have since learned there is a vast difference between how a man packs versus the (much more effective ;D way) a lady packs. Thank-fully my sister, Rebekah, came to my rescue. She brought shampoo, conditioner, lotion, comb, all those little things that are so very important to have and to use in order to regain that "I am a women" confidence.

In addition to humanitarian supplies, she brought Kayla and Rykken to visit with us. Those two are just such sweet kids. They have the cutest smiles, very sincere of the feelings of those around them. They can sit still for amazing spaces of time. They make you laugh, they try to do that same action again. I think those two sweeties could just stop by each hospital room to bring a little bit of innocence to others. We took them no a traditional ride where in the Smog, it's where you sit somewhere on the gurney. Right in the middle of a gurney ride my Oncologist / Hematologist (a doctor who specializes in cancer and blood disorders) came into the room.

Now this particular Medical Personal of the Smog has a very unique attire. He tends to were a tweed 3 piece suite, cool multi-colored polyester ?) ties, and coordinating shirt. To top it off he has metal circular eye glasses, and bushy brown hair. He's a fun blend of Little House on the Prairie and a hint of 1970's movie Fever). He came into the room and told me the news, I would be needed a bone marrow biopsy. Oddly, I was sort of happy that my sister and Char were in the room with me when I was told I should undergo the bone biopsy. Their faces, nodding in understanding or in agreement with the Medical Professional from the Smog gave me that unspoken support I needed. I quickly bounced back from my shy ,downward demeanor and to my normal self.  

The tribe's man began to explain how a bone marrow biopsy is performed, the purpose of a biopsy, how they would give me some anti-anxiety medication, Perhaps pain meds if I needed them. The procedure would be done in my hospital room. OH, and the bone marrow biopsy would begin in 30 minutes. Less time to stress out...Right? WRONG!!

Medical Personal in the Smog : Part 1 Bone Biopsy

It's the 12th of August and day 5 of my exile in the hospital. I have blending in nicely with the locals, they don't fully know why I am here, but they intend to find out. Those medical personal in the smog.

A small tribe had a meeting just beyond my ear shot. After 10 minutes in a huddle formation they came and gathered around me. After greetings were exchanged the leader of the tribe began to translate what they had been discussing. I've just been told I really need to have some x-rays, maybe CT or MRI scans, even more blood work, and a bone biopsy. 

The bone biopsy really scares me to be completely honest. There is the pain, the being awake while I am drilled, and the high risk of bleeding due to my Von Willenbrents bleeding disorder. 

Now, I am isolated in my hospital room under PPE precautions waiting to be told when the procedure will officially happen. I have no white blood cells, red blood, no immunity whatsoever. A newborn kitten abandoned in the streets has more immunity then I.

(Scene Change-Flashback Waves) 

I'm Being Watched....

Heidi Anne was playing in her room last night playing with her dolls and kitchen set. After a while she came out of her room with a tray and looking very proud of herself. She asked "Does anyone want to try my treat?"  How can you turn that down? 

Just as I was about to take a pretend bite she said "Wait! I forgot something very important!" She ran into her room and returned with a play cellphone. She said "WAIT! Don't it yet Momma. I HAVE to get a picture of this for Facebook. She made little clicking sounds, looked at the "image" on her phone, and got a few more pictures at different angles. Satisfied with her work she passed me a "bite" of food. 

As we were eating she suddenly said "You know Momma, I bet I should post to pictures to, Pintrest too. 

See, I am being watched!!

The Lemonade Party

Last week we had a rare treat - we got Charles all to ourselves! July 24th is a state holiday, so Char didn't have school or work. Heidi Anne wanted to make a celebration out of it. At first she thought of doing a Tea Party with all of us and her dollies. But it's the middle of July! To hot for a tea party.

So she decided that a Lemonade Party would do just as well. It then became over 100 degrees. So then our outdoor tea party became an indoor on the beach towel lemonade party. She helped make the cheesecake the day before and the pink lemonade. We discovered that Heidi Anne doesn't like the taste of cheesecake - she loved making it but the texture just didn't agree with her. Live and learn. 

Another important part is we all got dressed up.Char got dressed up, her dollies were dressed up,and she "helped" me get on makeup (No pics-I felt like the Joker from the Dark Knight Rises). Since we were having fun I put a little blush and lip gloss on her. She felt like such a big girl. She would hold her drink up with her pinkie finger pointing out. She said she watched an Angelina Ballerina episode where Angelina went to a fancy tea party. So Heidi Anne "taught" us the rules for a proper tea party. 

Here's Heidi Anne in a dress that I up-cycled. She's outgrown all her clothing and we just can't afford any new clothes (not even at a thrift store price). Yeap, funding is tight. But with this dress I added some pink lace I found, let some of the side hems out, and she added the leggings to the outfit all by herself. It's become one of her favorite things to ware. 

PS-If anyone out there can help me with a refresher lesson on sewing I have some fabric I can turn into dresses for her before she starts Kindergarten next month. 

The Heidi Anne Cooking Show

Heidi Anne loves to help me cook now. She loves to pretend she's the host of a cooking show. It's the Heidi Anne Cooking Show!  

She loves an audience so she will put her dollies on a kitchen chair, and she'll have her dollies watch us cook. She'll ask me in a whisper, "Momma, what's next?" I whisper the next steps to her. She'll talk in her normal tone saying "Everybody, listen." Then she'll recite what I had just told her.

She's a little disappointed when we put things in the oven. She thinks that a dish should be magically cooked and ready to eat as soon as you put it in the oven. Since I can't magically cook things I can pre-measure the ingredients and have them waiting for her in little containers, just like all the real chefs on TV. 

 But her favorite part is getting to sneak bites of her creations and eating it cooked later. This is also why cooking takes nearly twice as long. But we're making memories and having fun. That's the important part. 

Under Pressure...

Yeap, that pretty much sums up my last few weeks. Even though we're going through a rough patch doesn't mean we've been totally miserable. We've still found a few ways to have fun. I just haven't had real time to capture those fun moments, like a Lemon Aid (to hot for tea) party we had. Or how much Heidi Anne loves to cook with me because she likes to pretend that she's hosting a cooking show. She should be able to read about she is trying to grow up, loving the thought of Kindergarten, ballet classes, even a mini music boot camp a kind lady put together for free just because she loves sharing music with little kids. 

I think I've just wanted to hide from the harsh reality we're facing right now. But then I thought of Heidi Anne, this is her life and her adventures. She should be able to read how well she dealt with all these changes too. How we had fun, we're kind to others, or that material things are just that. Things. 

Even though times are hard she should be able to see how Momma and Daddad pushed forward. That life in general keeps turning and life has countless once in a life time moments. One adorable example is that I got to hold my new sweet little nephew for the very first time! (He is soooo freaking cute!!) While I was holding that sweet little boy, her cousins were so excited to see her and show the baby (Brekker) to her. Then while the adults cooed and held the baby, they we're having a blast playing with blocks and played dress up. 

Heidi Anne, these next stories may not be in the correct chronological order but they all happened during the Summer of 2013 just the same.  Hopefully, I don't turn into a basket case....

That Didn't Go As Planned

Yeah, really behind on posts. In a nut shell, we couldn't afford my basic medications resulting in a horrible relapse in my overall health. Things went okay-ish for the first few days but then the whites of my eyes became a bit yellow. We're been getting by with the help of my doctors giving me samples of everything they could give me, but even that runs dry.

We haven't had many adventures lately. Thankfully, on Sunday, some people at our church donated money so I can get my basic medications. Which I got on Monday. Right now I'm just trying to get over being super sick, untreated, to medications that can be very hard on your body the first week or two.

Heidi Anne's First BAD and then Good Bank Adventure

My Aunt Deb sent Heidi Anne a check for her birthday. She was so excited to have money like a grown up. I realized that this was the first birthday check she would really remember and I wanted to make it as fun and "Big Girl" as possible. On our way to the bank I asked her what she wanted to get with her birthday money. The first thing she said was "I want to get you some of your medicine so you will feel better." --Sweet angel.

I suggested maybe some clothes, Heidi Anne has grown yet another inch in these last 2 weeks. She is now 43 inches tall and her shoes are suddenly size 11. She went from a size 4T and size 8 shoe to size 6/7 and size 11 shoe in 6 weeks. She just bypassed a whole size! (I have stretched my up-cycle abilities to the limit, so any suggestions would be great!). Anyways, back to the main story! 

Heidi Anne decided she would like new ballet shoes that fit her and maybe some paint supplies or play-dough. All the way to the bank Heidi Anne is getting excited to buy her own ballet shoes with her own money. She talks about how she must be getting to be a real big girl. When we get to the bank Heidi Anne proudly gives the teller her check. The teller looks at the check and said "We can't cash this check, it's not in blue or black ink." I asked her if she was serious. She said she was. I then asked to speak with her manager. 

So the "manager" comes over, I tell her what the issue is, how the teller won't accept the check. She then says, "Hold on, let me verify with the manager." Then another teller reminds her she IS the manager. The three of them giggle..YES GIGGLED!! After she catches her breath, the "manager" says "That's right! I forgot! Giggles some more!  When she finally caught her breath she said some very assuring words, (and I quote) "Sorry, today is my first day as the manager!"  YIKES!!

The "manager" tells Heidi Anne that it's her Aunt's fault that she can't cash the check, that she should shred it, and demand a new one. --Word for word! Heidi Anne starts getting teary eyed, thinking they are going to take her money away. I took the check back, told them how insane, ungrateful, and plan rude their "advice" was, then stormed out of there. Honestly, who on Earth would really do that? 

We get into the car and poor Heidi Anne has little tears rolling down her cheeks. She sadly said "I don't really need new ballet shoes." Yeah, my heart broke for her. I found a different branch location and explained that this was her first experience with a bank my daughter has had and how traumatic it's been already. (I kept thinking of that scene in Mary Poppins where the little boy screams about the bank not giving him his money). 

This teller was so sweet! She treated Heidi Anne like a serious customer. She made a big deal about how grown up she is to get her own money from the bank. She then gave her money in 
$1 and $5 dollar bills. You could tell she had worked with kids before, because Heidi Anne's eyes got so big when she would count each dollar bill, one by one. Heidi Anne exclaimed "Momma!! Momma! I got so much money!!"  The sweet teller told her what a rich little girl she was. Then the teller gave Heidi Anne an envelop to hold "All of her money, since that's a lot of money for such a big girl!"

As I left the bank, Heidi Anne was humming and smiling. I then had the "Let's go fly a kite!" song stuck in my head. She was so proud of herself when she bought her ballet shoes with her very own money.